No Please
by GraspingBlu
Summary: What happened?" general Hammond asked as he looked at the team before him.... What's the worse thing that the SG1 has ever not come into contact with. A thought gone wrong. Mores the Pity.
1. Chapter 1

Please No

I own nothing other people that are making moneys do though.

"In Coming Traveler! In Coming Traveler!"

"Closing the iris!" Walter called as the metal clanged shut over the wormhole event horizon. General Hammond descended the stairs quickly as he entered the control room and looked at Walter. There was the tense moment of silence before the computer produced the information.

"Receiving SG1's IDC Sir!" Walter called out. Hammond straightened at his words though it was to be expected, no teams were due back so naturally it would be the lead team most likely coming in hot.

"Open the iris! Medical team to the Gate room!" Hammond ordered as he left the control room moving quickly towards the gate room.

"Medical team to the Gate room. Medical team to the Gate room." Walter echoed the general's words over the comm.

The iris retracted just as SG1 stumbled out of the gate.

"Close the iris!" Colonel Jack O'Neill called as he took a few steps down the platform.

Before the iris managed to close several things happened at once. The medical team with Doctor Fraser and General Hammond entered the gate room and several small projectiles flew through the gate splattering against the walls. One of these hit Jack O'Neill squarely on the back and the man dropped forward with the force. The medical team was on him in seconds but he pushed them away.

"What happened?" General Hammond asked as he looked at the team before him. All of SG1 looked as though they had been through hell. Yet only an hour had passed since they had arrived on P4A 913.

Daniel laughed hysterically until he was crying into Teal'c's chest. The larger man gripped him tightly but stared off into the distance his eyes wide and unblinking. Major Carter opened and closed her mouth several times but nothing came out and she just shook her head.

"It was full of them sir! A whole planet sir!" Jack stated looking behind him as if something might appear. Shaking off the medical team and Doctor Fraser he continued, "They surrounded us. We managed to kill a good portion of them but they just kept coming!" Jack all but screamed.

Sam collapsed to the ground and held her knees tight to her chest as she began to shake and mumble to herself. Daniel clung to Teal'c as if he were the only thing keeping him standing. Teal'c finally looked Hammond in the eye and the fear that radiated off of him was disturbing. What could they had faced that caused this strong of a reaction from each of the members of the lead team of the SGC?

"Who Colonel?" the General asked afraid of the answer he might receive.

"They..." Jack said shaking his head as if to clear the memory away.

"Teletubbies!" Major Carter screamed. The whole base stilled and shuddered at the word.

"Get them to the infirmary Now!" Hammond order. Looking at the team before him he was thankful that they had managed to make it back to the base. "Lock out that sequence." Everyone nodded their agreement and soon it was just the general in the Gate room. It would take time for them to heal after this event.

Looking at the custard dripping down the Gate room walls Hammond ran. Praying that tomorrow he only had to face possible global annihilation.

The End

Author's note:

Just a thought that came to me when I was thinking of horrible things that haven't happened to SG1. Nothing is scarier than those things really. Shudder.

Review please! Or I'll stick custard throwing Teletubbies on you! Shudder...


	2. Aftermath of Teletubbies

The four team members sat around the table looking at nothing in particular, tense and silent. No one had spoken since they left the infirmary. Many of the other officers and scientist in the commissary were shooting pitiful glances at the team. Everyone noticed the difference in the team, that was normally loud and content.

"So group therapy tomorrow." Daniel commented after he could take the silence no more. They all nodded and made no motion to continue talking. Hanging his head Daniel got up from the table and went to busy himself with some relic or translation in his lab.

Getting up to follow Daniel's lead Sam left the commissary muttering something about getting some work done while trapped on base. Teal'c and Jack sat in silence for a while longer until Jack had finished poking at his untouched pie. It was a sad day when Jack couldn't enjoy the desert.

"Let's go hit something T." He said as they left the commissary. Teal'c nodded his approval of the activity. It would do both some good to beat the living crap out of something. Even the older man was having a hard time not thinking about the events of earlier that day. The bright colors, hills and repetition. The hills and child's face in the sun all of it made Teal'c nauseous and break into a nervous sweat.

****

Doctor Fraser sat behind her desk head in hands. Tears running down her face haunted by the looks that SG1 had in their eyes as the sat there for her tests. Not one argued or fought her on what needed to be done. There was no conversation other then when Sam had started to cry and shake. Jack's words hung in the air, 'don't worry Sam you killed him.' What did it mean? What had happened on this mission gone horribly awry?

Collecting herself and brushing the tears away Janet did the only thing she thought would bring her comfort and left her post. She left the base and headed towards her adopted daughter for a long night and trying to rest.

"I'm heading home Wendy, call Doctor Warner if you need anything." Her voice was hollow and the nurse nodded her consent. She had seen the affect SG1's condition had on the doctor and agreed that she needed down time.

****

General Hammond hung up the phone after a long talk with his granddaughter and felt better but was still vastly unnerved. He had contemplated of sending a nuke through but wondered briefly if it was over zealous. He would talk to the president and hopefully the man would agree with his opinion. The thought of those creatures loose on the universe sent shivers up the general's spine.

****

Lala and Po stood on the highs of the rolling green hills and looked out on the piles of bodies. They said nothing as they watched other Teletubbies wading through the carnage checking for survivors. The others would be ground into custard and eaten, if too many lived then they too would be used for custard.

"Lala!" Lala sang and they moved towards the structure behind them.

"Po!" Po agreed it was time for custard.

A/N: Sorry I had too, creepy, creepy Teletubbies for the win. R&R please.


End file.
